You’re my besht mate…
Today is St Patrick’s day , the one day of the year where the number of people claiming to have Irish heritage miraculously quadruples and the subnormal get to wear ridiculous Guinness top hats free of fear of recriminations. People the world over are right now honouring all that is Irish by taking part in a ritual that perhaps the Irish are most renowned for , namely getting shitfaced.
It is unfair that a country that has given us such greats as Samuel Beckett , George Bernard Shaw , Colin Farrell and B*Witched should be known mainly for it’s enthusiastic and very public drunkeness. It has also given the world a plethora of Irish pubs , some with as tenuous a link to Ireland as just featuring a Guinness bar towel nailed to wall behind the bar and many go for an even more minimal approach just by featuring the word “Irish” on their sign outside. “Irish” it seems has now become an international code word for “booze”. From Africa to Asia , there must be an Irish pub represented on every single continent and I’m willing to bet that if you looked hard enough you’d even be able to find one even in Saudi Arabia.
Of course here in the UK we manage to do a far better job of creating an authentic Irish pub atmosphere. As we well know it is the law that every single pub in Ireland is fairly littered with ancient farming equipment and dusty old pharmecuetical bottles in wooden cases. Therefore our pubs are as an authentic Irish pub experience as you could get. That’s one of the reasons I’ve never been to Ireland. After going to an “O’Neills” , literally what would be the point?
But all this waffle has just been a preamble to what I really wanted to show you. In a salute to drunkeness please take the time to watch this clip of one of the finest inebriates that Britain has ever produced…the late , the great , the pissed Oliver Reed. Here we see in Reed in all his drunken glory. I can’t explain why he is dressed as Santa Claus and I’m not sure why he wants his hair cut like Bridgette Bardot. All I know is that when he looks into the mirror , meets his own gaze and slurs “I love you lady” he’s talking to the booze coursing through his veins for Lady Alcohol is a foul but undeniably seductive temptress.
