January 2010
1 post
July 2009
4 posts
7 tags
Old Man Jackson
Thanks to Breadteam for this (always so good for interesting pictures , I just steal his ) Here is an intriguing look at what Ebony Magazine thought that Michael Jackson may look like in the year two thousand. In 1985 they commissioned an artist to create a whole special of what the ravages of time would do to the big stars of the day. Imagine if this artist had turned up with a picture of what...
3 tags
Q: Who's Bad? A: Not me.
It has been an embarrassingly long time since I last put anything up on here and for that I feel ashamed. I could try and explain it away by saying that I , once again , have fallen into one those damned wormholes in time and space that instantly deposits me almost two months into the future with no recollection of my actions over the missing time but I won’t because that excuse is wearing thin...
Explanation
New words to come some. Emerged from coma recently. That is all.
April 2009
24 posts
10 tags
From The Vaults #3 - Love In Action
Sure we’ve all dreamt of living in a commune at some point or another , right? No? Well I have anyway, usually at around dawn after the last night at Glastonbury. Sitting on the slopes of the Stone Circle field surveying the sea of freaks and their campfires spread out before me like a medieval army preparing for battle , I find myself thinking ( and often voicing to anyone naïve enough to lend...
I admire what this person is trying to do but I do feel that her message is a bit mixed and wishy-washy. The varying sizes of type , the “hopefully eventually” doesn’t inspire confidence and the misuse of (brackets) all would make me feel uneasy about throwing my lot in with them. This poster just looks too amateur to consider joining. Not to be rude but I think this quest has fallen at the first...
17 tags
Mindful vandalism and a study into the age...
Sometimes vandalism can be a wonderful thing . I don’t mean when people misguidedly deface war memorials or tear up community flowerbeds , what I mean is when people draw a well placed spunking phallus on a poster for something on at the Royal Opera House , you know , classy vandalism in the best tradition of the British school system. That’s the kind of thing that really does it for me and I...
My finding here are thus…
The “Realisation Scream” occurs 35 seconds into the trailer.
The “McGuffin” is a turbaned machine called Zoltar that grants his wish at a travelling fairgorund.
The main lessons learnt are that childhood is a precious thing that should be cherished and that it was astoundingly easy to climb the corporate ladder in 1980’s New York.
13 Going On 30
The next...
My Findings…..
The “Realisation Scream” occurs only 15 seconds into the trailer.
The “McGuffin” is never truly explained though it has something to do with a cupboard and some glitter.
The moral of the story is that if you have a fat mate be nice to him as he will grow up to be a hottie who’s like totally nice and buff and stuff.
17 Again
The final of our age swap movies. Chandler from...
My Findings….
The “Realisation Scream” occurs 51 seconds into the trailer.
The “McGuffin” has Chandler throwing himself from a bridge and into some sort of age reversing wormhole in time and space.
From the trailer it can be deduced that basketball really can change your life and that if you look like Zac Efron even your own daughter will want to sleep with you.
The Body Swaps
18...
My Findings….
The “Realisation Scream” ….does not take place , already I feel uneasy.
The “McGuffin” seems to involve a spectacular car crash involving Burns and his grandson. Afterwards it seems that Burns has had his dream come true by occupying his 18 year old grandsons body. What isn’t made clear is what happens to the grandson. There are no chuckle inducing moments of a teenager finding...
My Findings….
The “Realisation Scream” occurs 27 seconds into the trailer.
The “McGuffin” has Reinhold‘s character in possession of a magic skull that , quelle surprise , transforms his son into him and him into his son after an argument.
Morally it does the usual “You don’t appreciate how difficult and complicated being an adult is” with the “You don’t remember how tough it was being a kid”...
My Findings….
The “Realisation Scream” occurs 23 seconds into the trailer and is perhaps my favourite of all of them.
The “McGuffin” is not explained even for a single moment. It may have something to with a cat but I think that we as an audience are simply expected to suspend our disbelief and get on with the movie.
Morally it shows us nothing. Drinking and fucking seem to play a major role in...
My Findings….
The “Realisation Scream” occurs a hefty 1 minute and 8 seconds into the trailer!
The “McGuffin” takes the form of a couple of fortune cookies handed to Lohan and Lee Curtis by a mysterious lady at Chinese restaurant where they have gone to argue about mother daughter type things.
Morally it’s the same old thing as ever “Ooh it’s hard being an adult…blah,blah,blah” and “I hate...
Drunken , Rampaging Dwarves. Of course.
I have never wanted to a dwarf so much as when I saw this for the first time. In fact I think it could be the one and only time in my life that I have desired to be a little person. Outside of christmas time , the life of a dwarf doesn’t appear that fun but this makes me think differently. I suspect that if a group of us big people were to do what these dwarves are doing we would be branded...
From The Vaults #2 - The Amen Ra Letters
Myself and three friends used to share the best place together. It was cheap , it was huge and it was in the middle of everything . It was so close to the tube station that sometimes I’d actually wake up on my way to work surprised to find out that I’d carried out my morning routine whilst on some sort of autopilot. Somehow my body had trained itself to get out of bed , wash itself , brush it’s...
Finally we ended up leaving the house when the almost constant battles with the estate agents ( let’s call them Asshole Estates ) and the landlords had sapped our morale to an all time low. The landlords complained we never paid our rent on time and we complained that they always ignored our requests for a less barbaric way of living. We then found out that Asshole had been holding onto our rent...
March 2009
33 posts
Where The Wild Things Are - Trailer Online!
Just a quick one in response to an earlier post ( thanks to Jack for giving me this ) , the trailer for Where The Wild Things Are has just gone online.
My initial feelings are mixed. Obviously the story had to be expanded a little but seeing Max outside of his normal confines does make me feel , for wont of a better word , weird. The Wild Things look great though and the use of Arcade Fire in...
From The Vaults #1 - Path Cra 911
I mentioned in an earlier post that I collect weird bits of ephemera and that I’d eventually start posting some of my collection on here. Well here is the first and it is a goody.
There are many things that you can find by trailing through the labyrinth of tiny alleys and streets which make up Marrakech’s souk , masterfully handmade leather goods , intricate brass lanterns , exotic spices , live...
The mysterious name “Path Cra 911” , the cheap graphics of a simian faced Bush chasing around that pesky Bin Laden , it was all too beautiful. Bush is of course in a tank but hold on….is that…no…is that Bin Laden on a skateboard? It is! Who knew that he skated…and so well by the looks of it. The final thing that did it for me was the subheading “Super Funny Children’s Toy”. I like a laugh as much...
There the Wild Things are
Too often lately have I seen movies that I held dear as a child defiled with slapdash sequels ( Star Wars / Indiana Jones ) or incredible novels clumsily adapted beyond all recognition for the big screen ( Phillip Pullman’s - Northern Lights rechristened “The Golden Compass“. No , no , no)
So I approached with trepidation the news that a Maurice Sendak’s seminal children’s...
“Where The Wild Things Are” was without doubt one of my favourite books when I was a kid. I must have read it at least a thousand times and the sense that I was being taken on magical journey never really diminished. To this day I still want my room to transform in the same way Max’s did after being sent to bed without supper and I still want to own a pointy eared romper suit complete with those...
The news that Spike Jonze was at the helm settled some of my fears about this film. I’ve always admired his work from his music videos to his big screen work. As a director I think he really has a feel for the weird and twisted , he resists the temptation to go “Ooo-ooh isn’t this weird” and instead presents strange events/people/situations/locations in a very matter of fact way which is...
After seeing the first images I’m really quite excited as the wild things look massively faithful to the original illustrations. Looking into these monsters eyes immediately felt like seeing a much loved friend, unchanged since childhood for the first time in years.
I’m really hoping that this film works but I can see there could be problems. Can a 48 page children’s book really sustain a whole movie? I hope so.My greatest fear? That one of the wild things will speak using hip-hop vernacular. It could scupper the whole shebang if one of the wild things turns up and greets Max with a “Yo dawg them pajamas are the schiznit boyee!”. Admit it…that could happen.
...
You're my besht mate...
Today is St Patrick’s day , the one day of the year where the number of people claiming to have Irish heritage miraculously quadruples and the subnormal get to wear ridiculous Guinness top hats free of fear of recriminations. People the world over are right now honouring all that is Irish by taking part in a ritual that perhaps the Irish are most renowned for , namely getting shitfaced.
...
March of the Morons
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time. Give that man a hat and a name badge and watch him disappear up his own ass.
Recently I took a journey from Wimbledon to Clapham Junction on the overground service. It’s a short journey that takes less than 10 minutes on a route that thousands and thousands of people use everyday. There was...
Ooh baby I like it raw...
As I’ve mentioned before I have lost a significant portion of my life to watching televison , time that I could’ve perhaps spent better by getting married , having kids or creating a scale model of the Titanic made from plastic coffee stirrers, but now and again something comes on that makes me think to myself “I’m glad I’ve stoically sat here wasting my life for it...
5" x 4" of Weirdness
I wish that I could claim to have seen this myself but alas I cannot…..